A Whirlwind...

I haven't blogged in a long time, but I've decided to utilize this little space carved out for family memories to document a journey I'm about to begin.   My journey to fight breast cancer.

Here's how my journey began...

When I went in for my annual Well Woman exam on May 4th, I mentioned that I had noticed milk in my right breast.  I haven't nursed Hattie since she was 12 months old, so I didn't think that was normal.  I can't express any milk, but there's a crust on my nipple at the end of the day.  My doctor ordered some blood tests and a mammogram to rule things out.

On May 9th, I had my first mammogram, which led the doctor to do an ultrasound.  The ultrasound showed calcifications in and near my milk ducts.  This was a worry to the doctor because sometimes when your body doesn't like what's happening in an area, it will try to wall it off to prevent it from spreading. The calcifications weren't forming an entire wall yet, but they were in a suspicious pattern.  So on May 10th, I had an ultrasound-guided biopsy, which meant I could have it right there at the imaging center.  It was mostly painless and easy.  But the wait was stressful.

On May 15, I got the call that the results were in and my mom and I headed to the office to get results.  Turns out, I've got breast cancer.  DCIS, they said.  The doctor who did the biopsy explained that the cancer grows in milk ducts and it looks like mine is very, very early.  He said he can't be sure because lymph nodes need to be tested, but he thinks it could be as early as stage zero, which is great!  I've not googled it because I have enough to be scared of, without adding to the list.  But from what other people have googled, it seems to be very treatable and has very high survival rates.  The doctor said the first treatment is usually surgery.  They could opt to remove a portion of my right breast, or they may recommend a mastectomy and reconstruction.  He didn't know much about radiation or chemo following the surgery.

After a flurry of phone calls, I'm all set with the Breast Cancer Center at KU.  I'll meet my medical oncologist on Monday, May 21.  Then I'll meet my surgeon on Wednesday, May 23.  After those two appointments, I will have a clearer picture of what future tests and treatments and surgeries are ahead of me.  I have already decided that if they give me the option of having a double mastectomy with reconstruction, I will likely take that option.  I've always said that I'm not that attached to these girls and with the cancer history (of all kinds) that runs in my family, I'd rather get rid of any chance for it to grow.  Besides... I could go a little smaller and a little perkier!

Ryan and I have opted to wait to talk with the girls (specifically Gracie) about this until we have more answers.  After my appointments next week, we will share the news with them.  I know Gracie's a worrier and because no amount of worry will help this situation, I plan to choose my words very wisely with her.  I'd appreciate it if those if you reading this would choose your words carefully when  Gracie is around.  Both now and after we tell her.  I need prayers and I'm completely open to talking about things, but I don't want to scare my girls.  Cancer is a scary word and I'm hoping that this journey helps my girls to see the power of being proactive about your health. I'm also very, very, very confident in God's plan for His children.  Having been through rough patches before, I know that God is in control and His will for me is good.  I do not think He caused this cancer, but I do believe He will use it to strengthen my faith and reveal His glory.  I hope my daughters, family, and friends can be strengthened through this journey, as well.  Faith over fear, y'all.  That's what I tell Satan when he tries to take me on the worry train.  God has got me.  I don't know much about what's ahead, but I know He's holding me tight.

As my journey continues, I plan to update here on the blog.  I want to keep all of you in the loop and knowing what to pray for.  I am not always very good at texting and such.  I tend to put my phone down and come back later to find 25 unread texts.  It's just not my strength!  If you need a quick response, text my sister!  Haha!

For now, please pray for peace of mind.  Pray for strong faith.  Pray for wisdom in making decisions. Pray for health and joy in my future.

I'll update when I know more!