Sad News

Most of you have already heard and have been praying for us through this challenging time, but I wanted to share that Little Weaver #2 lives in heaven now. Elijah Samuel Weaver, Eli for short, was a part of our lives for 17 short weeks... in my tummy.

When I went for my regular doctor's appointment at 17 weeks, he had passed. After laboring for 2 days, I delivered his tiny body, only 4 inches long and weighing just 2 grams.  It was just his 'shell' though because we all know that Eli rests in the arms of our Maker.  

Our plans were to find out his gender at our routine ultrasound tomorrow, but clearly God has other plans of His own. Ryan and I are trusting and hopeful in God's plans for our future. We trust that He will expand our family when and how He sees fit. We also know that all the little ones in our life are miracles, especially the one who we get to snuggle every day. God, in His infinite wisdom and generosity gave us Gracie. And we are forever grateful for every day we get to be her parents. We are hopeful and confident that He will give us that opportunity with another little one, when the season is right. 

Throughout this experience, I have learned so many things. First, there is extreme comfort in knowing that God is in control. Sometimes we don't understand why things happen. And in those situations you are left with two choices... to question and try to humanly make sense of them, or you can blindly trust God's will, the way a child does. I find it easier to do the latter.  And second, even though bad things have happened to me, I am blessed beyond measure. Some of the stories I've heard since experiencing this loss are so terribly heartbreaking. And several of those mommies didn't have a living child to go home to, which breaks my heart even more.  

So for now we are grieving the loss of Eli and what might have been.  Gracie asks every now and then if there's another baby in my tummy. She also inquires about Eli and what color his blanket is, where he sleeps in heaven, and who's holding him. All her questions are brief and usually followed up with "Can I have candy?"  or something equally normal.  We also pray for our future and try not to let our minds wander about how many more losses we might experience. But when I start to jump on that worry train, I try to remind myself that it's not up to me anyway. God is in control.

Christmas

Merry Christmas!  What a fun time of year Christmas is when you have a toddler. It really is amazing how much joy I get from seeing Gracie so happy. And her happiness comes from so many things these days. She is in love with Baby Jesus, The Nativity, and the shepherds. We do a nightly Bible reading during the month of December to countdown the days until Christmas. We read the story, beginning with Zachariah, Elizabeth, and John the Baptist. Jesus isn't officially 'born' until Christmas Eve. But every night leading up to it, Gracie would ask, "Is Jesus out of Mary's tummy yet?"  When He was finally born, Gracie and her cousins cheered and squealed with excitement. It was so sweet and pure. Makes me happy!

Then of course there are the presents and all of her excitement for them. She was so so so fun at gift openings this year. Tearing the paper all by herself and barely containing her excitement for most of her gifts. I'm not sure I've ever had such a fun Christmas, even when I was little.  We opened presents with our little family of three on Christmas morning and Gracie was curious and joyful about the whole Santa thing. Then we headed to Aunt B's house for Christmas with Ryan's family. Besides snuggling her 3 week old cousin, I think the highlight was receiving more baby dolls, especially one that actually sucks her paci!  We finished the day at Aunt Steph's house where Gracie pushed through her exhaustion because playing with her cousins is Gracie's heaven on earth. We opened gifts and I'm not sure which her favorite was, but it was likely a tie between a microwave and her double stroller. Watching all the kids this year was such a treat!

We have so much to be thankful for this Christmas!  Personally, I am and will always be eternally grateful for the gift God gave us in Gracie. Being her mommy is simply the best!  

As for the picture below... these two both got their double strollers from Graham Cracker. I wish I had a video of them opening them together. Unfiltered excitement!  Daddies were assembling them on the spot and babies filled the seats within minutes. And just in case you were wondering, Kia is sporting the princess wedding attire, while Gracie has layered the Ariel princess dress under her new apron. Both wore princess shoes and headed to 'church' with their babies right away. 

Our Little Mermaid

Lately Gracie has been practicing her 'swimming' skills during bath time. She likes to kick her feet and flip flop between her belly and her back. She's become a little bit daring in recent weeks... putting her ears under water and even almost putting her nose under!  When we fill the tub to her belly button, it's just the right depth to cover all but her mouth and nose when she lays down. She can spend several minutes that way.  She can't hear a darn thing with her ears submerged, but she talks and talks (loudly) and fills her mouth with water to spew like a whale. It's quite entertaining to watch!  But last night I noticed that she really looks like The Little Mermaid when she lays there. Her hair looks reddish and floats around her face just like Ariel. Such a pretty girl!  

First Snow of the Season

We were all feeling pretty excited last night when the first flakes began falling shortly before bedtime. This morning we took advantage of our lazy Sunday by heading out to play. Daddy snowblowed the driveway first. Then we all sledded, ate snow, and attempted to build a snowman. It was the wrong kind of snow though, so we ended up making a baby Jesus with Mary, Joseph, shepherds, and sheep. Gracie was very happy with the result despite the fact that each piece of the Nativity was just a snowball.  Her favorite part was definitely eating snow though. We are working on knowing which snow is okay to eat and which snow you should leave alone. She understands why we don't eat yellow snow, thank goodness. But the rest is still up for debate. 

Best Friends

These two have become the best of friends over the past year. Watching them play and listening to their conversations brings me so much joy. I'm so thankful that Gracie has her cousin Kia. 

This picture was taken before Sunday School a few weeks ago. Neither of them would smile in the class picture, but when we asked them to hug each other, this was the result. Beautiful girls!  

Bedtime at the Weaver House

Doesn't get much sweeter than this!  There's just something about daughters and daddies that makes me happy... especially when it's my daughter and her daddy!

A Newborn Night

I often refer to the nights when Gracie (or Tysie) don't sleep well as 'newborn nights'.  You know, the nights where you have short periods of interrupted sleep, all through the night. Interruptions including, but not limited to... crying, scary dreams, upset tummies, puke, congestion, no reason at all.  

Well, last night my sister-in-law invited me to stay with her for Annabelle's last night in the hospital. I was so happy she asked because I love being able to help and snuggling my newest niece is always a perk!  Brandi and I can chit-chat for hours, and with all the hustle and bustle of the past few days, we hadn't gotten to chat as much. So it was really fun to cath up with each other, too.  As expected, it was a 'newborn night'!  For good reason... since Miss Annabelle is a newborn!  She was so good though, seriously didn't cry at all. A few whimpers, but so very content. Her momma did all the work, so I was just there for moral support. All total, I think B and I got 3-4 hours of sleep. 

Just like when I've stayed with Steph after all of her deliveries, plus my hospital stay with Gracie, I really do forget how tired the 'newborn nights' make you.  Every now and then we still have 'newborn nights' with G, but they are few and far between. But when they pop up, it totally zaps your energy for a bit. 

I'm probably forgetting other obstacles, but right now the only part of having another baby that scares me are the 'newborn nights'.  I know they don't last forever. And I know that in the grand scheme of things, that phase is short, but it is the hardest thing ever when you're going through it. And unfortunately, there's really no getting around it.  

My 'newborn night' adventure from last night was a welcomed experience. I am so happy that Annabelle and I have already had our first sleepover. No complaints from Aunt Kristy!  Plus 'newborn nights' are a lot easier when you know the next night isn't going to be one!  

Graham Cracker's Christmas Tree

Tonight we went over to Grandma Sevedge's house to help decorate the Christmas tree. Ever since my dad died, setting up the tree hasn't been the same and oftentimes my mom doesn't even put one up. This year, Steph and I suggested that the grand kids help Grandma start a new tradition of decorating the tree. And so we did it tonight!  All of us joined the party... Minskys pizza and Christmas decorating. Here are a few pictures from our night. 

Little Gracie, the Christmas Bug, thoroughly enjoyed seeing all of Grandma's 'Baby Jesus' ornaments. She examined each and every one. They are her favorite!  

Annabelle Madison

The newest member of our extended family made her debut yesterday at 1:22 pm. Our niece, Gracie's cousin, Annabelle Madison is a teeny tiny sweet pea, weighing only 5 lbs 15 oz at birth. She's beautiful and cuddly, and totally makes those sweet baby goat noises... which makes me look forward to the itty bitty phase again!

Annabelle and her parents are doing so well. Mommy is recovering from her c-section with no complaint and Daddy couldn't be prouder. Big Cousin Gracie had to miss out on meeting her tonight due to a sore throat and the sniffles. But no worries, they will be the best of friends before we know it!  She did wonder aloud at bedtime last night, "Why does Uncle Chad get my belly?"  After explaining that Uncle Chad loves her and likes to see her giggle, she asked, "Will he still get my belly?"  I reassured her that Uncle Chad will get her belly as long as she will let him, even now that he's a Daddy. It's super sweet how much my girl loves her family.  I hope Annabelle feels that way about Ryan and I someday!  I'm looking forward to another niece to squeeze and smooch and make tons of memories with, for sure!

I could not be happier for Brandi and Chad to receive and experience the blessing they have been praying for.  Annabelle will forever be a reminder of God's infinite wisdom and divine plan.  She is exactly who God intended her to be and arrived exactly when He intended her to.  Comforting. 

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

We just put our tree up in the basement and the girls wanted to sleep under it for nap time today. After over an hour and a half of playing around and one come to Baby Jesus talk with Gracie (and maybe a spanking, as well) they slept like babes!  They've already asked to sleep there again tomorrow. I'm still deciding if I have enough patience to allow them to make such sweet memories. Momma/Aunt Nerned really needs nap time these days. Maybe I should just tuck them in downstairs and head up to my own bed for some peace and quiet. Not a bad idea?!  

Gracie's excitement this Christmas really is adorable. I'm loving her enthusiasm for Jesus and all things Christmas. Today, I think I just needed a nap myself!  

A Full Weekend

Two family Thanksgiving celebrations, one busy day of Black Friday shopping, two Christmas tree setups, and an independent two year old leave me (and apparently her) feeling like this...