Sensory Play

Today I decided to take the time to do something I love to do... it's been awhile since I set up an invitation for the kids to play.  I used to do it all the time when Kyle and the girls were young, but it seems like laundry, dishes, and meal prep have absorbed all my free time and creative energy.  But today, I decided that I'm tired of waiting until I have the time to be fun and creative, so I just took the time to create a fun place space for the little girls.  And as it turned out, the big girls quite enjoyed it, too!  I'm guessing Kyle will play once he sees it, too.

This is our sand and water table filled with pinto beans.  I bought several bags at Aldi today and fill the bin with spoons, cups, and small containers to fill and dump.  The only rule is that any beans that land on the floor must be picked up.  Natalie, Gracie, and Kianna followed the rule perfectly, but Hattie, not so much!  She's still learning, I guess.  Although for her, dropping the beans onto the floor is about as fun as picking them up, so it's all good!

A bird's eye view

Let the fun begin!

Once the big girls got home and changed for dance, they played for 20 minutes.
Altogether.
Peacefully.
So much fun!

I'm definitely going to take more opportunities to invite the little girls to play.  Because they deserve it.  And because I do, too!  I always dreamed of being a mom and I'm not going to let laundry and dishes steal these precious days with them.

Saying Yes...

I recently read a blog post about being a "Yes Mom".  It put into words thoughts that have crossed my mind several times, both as a teacher and as a parent.  You see, sometimes when I'm busy or tired, I find myself parenting/teaching on autopilot.  And in these times, I've noticed that my answer to most questions is "No."  There's really no good reason for saying no, it's just a way for me to be lazy, if I'm being honest.  Most of the time when I let this happen, I think to myself, 'Why are you saying no?  15 years from now you'll be wishing she wanted you to read another princess story.'  or 'Why did you tell him no?  Why can't he work on his math on the floor?'

But I am reminded of what it's like to be a child and how one little thing can make your whole day!  I was reflecting on that just last Friday when a student shared that her parents were shopping for a camper today.  She said they might even try to go camping in it tonight!  I reminded me of when I was in third grade and my parents were going to pick me up early from school so we could go out of town.  I don't even remember where we went, but I remember that feeling of knowing I was going to be picked up early from school, and hardly being able to focus that day because I was so excited to leave early... something that never, ever happened to me.  As a parent, I want Gracie's memories of growing up to be full of special things.  I don't want to spoil her with things, things, and more things.  But there's no harm in saying yes to the little things her heart desires.

I practiced saying yes a few times this weekend, and it totally made her day... twice!  She and I hit up a few thrift stores on Saturday.  While we were shopping, we found some cute springtime cookie cutters for Play-Doh, which cost $1.00.  As we continued perusing the aisles, Gracie quickly spotted the baby dolls.  Naked, half-dressed, matted hair, colored-on baby dolls.  She also stumbled upon a purple and yellow stroller (her 2 favorite colors) with 3 out of 4 wheels in working order.  So she chose her favorite baby doll and put her in the broken stroller to push around a few aisles.  When it came time to leave, I told her to put the baby and stroller back so we could check out.  Of course, you know what happened next.  Gracie didn't want to put the baby back.  So I thought about it and realized that the springtime cookie cutters were more my idea than hers.  And really, she has plenty of cookie cutters for Play-Doh, that we don't use all that often.  So I gave her the choice to spend $1 on cookie cutters or $1 on the baby doll.  She happily put the cookie cutters back and snuggled the dirty baby tightly.  I put my foot down on the stroller because we don't need another stroller, specifically a broken one, to take up residence in our home.  But me allowing her to spend $1 the way she wanted to was a big, big deal to her.  When we got home, we pulled out her baby doll bathtub and gave her new baby a much needed bath.  She was so excited to tell Kianna about her purchase first-thing this morning!

As the days continue, I notice that Gracie is becoming more and more independent and likes to do things her way... which is just like me.  So I hope to say yes more often than no, in the situations where it really doesn't matter, in an effort to give her some freedom.  I notice that when I do, she feels really special and proud of herself, almost like we're a team - she and I.  And I like it when she feels that way.

Tough question...

Gracie and I have some of our best conversations before she goes to bed. While we rock, Gracie tries to stall to stay up later (and I let her because I love that time with my girl). So tonight she brought up dying and going to heaven. Between losing Uncle David, Baby Eli, and puppy dog Marley, heaven has been on her mind for a while. We've also talked quite a bit about baptism, which leads to a discussion of living with Jesus forever in heaven. At first it was pretty casual... What is heaven like?  What color is God's house?  But then she started to cry and could barely get out her words. I asked her to repeat herself and she said, "Who takes care of kids when their mommy and daddy dies?"  Her question took me off guard and made my stomach sink at the very same time. I was/am not prepared to answer her question, or even think about that scenario. Worse yet, it's the first time I've ever seen Gracie get so emotional over a fear or feeling. It was an extremely honest an sad moment. I did my best to answer her honestly and to reassure her that Mommy and Daddy will be with her for a very long time. I explained that Grandmas Grandpas takes of kids, along with Aunts and Uncles and cousins and close friends. The conversation moved onto something else relatively quickly, but I still can't shake that feeling in the pit of my stomach. 

That feeling is less about me and more about Gracie. I don't like that she worries about things she can't understand. She is such a smart and analytical child. She is so wise and perceptive. Which generally serves her well, but in this situation, I just want her to be blissfully unaware. I don't want her to fret or fear the loss of her parents. In fact tonight Ryan called me "old lady" and Gracie crawled up in my lap and said, "I don't want you to be old, Momma."  I think that comment was rooted in her fears of losing me.  

But here's what I do want Gracie to know about what happens when Mommy dies... which is hopefully a very, very long time from now.  First of all, Mommy loves you and always loved you more than life itself. You are the most special girl to me and I believe you are proof of God's love. A blessing that I always dreamed of. Even if I die, nothing can change the fact that your Momma loved you deeper than the ocean. Second of all, have no fear, sweet my girl.  I am happy, so happy in heaven!  Do not worry about me. My faith is strong and I will spend forever with our Savior. And do not be sad that we are apart from each other right now. I know it seems like you won't see me again, but we will see each other again.  Be strong in your faith and trust that Jesus has covered all your sins, too. There will be a day, many many days, when we will be together again!  Enjoy your time without me here on earth, and I promise we will pick up where we left off in a while.  And lastly, do not worry about who will care for you when I'm gone. There are countless people who have loved you just as long as I have loved you.  God has loved you even longer and will always provide for you and protect you. Take confidence in His plan for your life and simply know, without a doubt, that He will not fail you. 

So as morbid and sad as these words sound, if Gracie should ever have to go through something as painful and challenging as losing her Momma, please do me 3 favors. Love and care for her like I would. Continue to feed her Christian faith. And remind her of my intense love for her and that I'll be waiting, with a smooch and squeeze for her, up there at the end of her long, long life!

Psalm 119:11

One of my favorite things about Christmas 2013 was Gracie's interest in reading the Bible each day.  Several years ago, Ryan and I made a Christmas countdown.  We painted clear ball ornaments and I took the Nativity story from each of the gospels, arranged it chronologically, and divided it across 25 days.  The story begins on December 1 with the angel appearing to Zachariah to tell him about his soon-to-be son, John the Baptist.  It ends on Christmas Day with shepherds visiting baby Jesus.

Before bed each night, we always read the Bible passages as a family.  Over the past couple of years, Ryan and I would sometimes forget to read and then we'd double or triple up on other days.  But not in 2013.  Gracie reminded us every night to read "Daddy's Bible story".  Daddy always reads aloud from his Bible, that's why she thinks it's "Daddy's".  There were even a couple of times that we were tucking her into bed that she'd realize we hadn't read the story yet.  And we always got back out of bed to make sure we stayed on track.  

The sweetest moment of the season was on Christmas Eve and all the kids were at our house for Christmas cookie decorating and egg nog.  When we read the Bible passage that night, all the kids clapped and cheered when baby Jesus was born.  I was so happy that our kids were just as excited about Jesus as they were about gifts and cookies and Santa.  We must have done something right!

So after the Christmas season was over, I wanted to make sure we stayed in the habit of reading the Bible to Gracie often.  We always say prayers at night, but I want Gracie to know the Bible.  I want her to learn who God is from His book.  I want her to understand why we believe in and worship God.  I want her to learn from the people in the Bible.   I want her to hide God's word in her heart.  I expressed these desires to Ryan and he shared the same feelings.  I started googling ideas to make reading the Bible more engaging for little ones and found several great ideas!

I ran across a series of children's Bibles that include a DVD with them called Read and Share.    The books are perfect for all the kids in our family.  Gracie and Kia love them just as much as Kyle does.  It's also great because each story is featured on a DVD, so we can even watch the "movie" of the stories, too!  My mom purchased volume one and volume two for my family and Stephanie's.  We've used these over and over again for Bible story time in our house.  

The other item I found was a set of Bible felts.  I don't know if you ever experienced flannel/felt boards when you were a kid.  But I remember going to Sunday School as a preschooler/kindergartener and I loved it when my teachers used a felt board to tell the story!  Sometimes my teachers would even let us put the felts on the board, which was my favorite!  So I ran across this set from Betty Lukens and it's amazing!  There are over 600 figures and pieces to help you share 182 Bible stories with your children.  It took a bit of convincing for Ryan to give the okay for me to spend around $150 on the set.  He really couldn't argue when I said we were "investing in our daughters eternal future."  I was being silly when I said it, but it's pretty much the truth.  It's the most important thing we can do as parents here on earth.  Not purchase Bible felts, but invest in our children's eternal future.  

I received the set about 3 weeks ago and I'm still in the process of cutting out all 600 pieces.  It's a chore for sure, but Gracie has enjoyed the first (and only) story we've read together.  The first night I read the story to her and I did all the work with the felts.  The second night, I read the story again, but this time she really wanted to help me with the felts.  And she did a great job!  The third night I read the story again, but she did all the work with the felts.  I was surprised watching her because she knew which pieces came next and was grabbing for them before I had even read the part.  Each night after that, she told us the story and she did the felts.  Ryan and I would jump in and add details that she forgot, but for the most part, Gracie knew the details.  

Included with each story is a memory verse, which I plan to memorize as a family (once we really get started -- after I have the pieces cut out).  Graham Cracker and Ryan think that I'll be finished with the cutting out process by the time Gracie has kids!  It's no joke, there are 10 blankets of felt, about the size of a baby blanket.  And each blanket is covered from corner to corner with pieces to cut.  It's insane!  My goal is to be done in 2 weeks!  We shall see!

I feel really good about where Gracie is with her faith.  She is excited and interested in the Bible and often asks questions about God and church.  I pray that her attitude toward God and His word continues to remain positive.  I pray this for Gracie and for her future husband.  

Psalm 127:3

When I think about Gracie, and everything I love about her, I know the words of Psalm 127:3 are true.

"Children are a gift from The Lord; they are a reward from Him." (NLT)

She is absolutely nothing less than a gift from God. And for the opportunity to be her mother, I am eternally thankful.