Chemo #6

The day has finally come!  My last chemo day and I'm so, so excited!  I know the recovery will be rough, but knowing that I don't have to do this anymore makes me very, very happy!  Even when I look ahead to surgery, I'm looking forward to a different mountain to climb.  This chemo mountain is getting old.  On another note, my friend Rachel is keeping Hattie for me several days this week and when I went to drop her off, she had her yard decorated for me!  Just for me!  I feel so special and so grateful for her friendship!

Kissing cancer good-bye!

Bye bye, chemo!

Steph brought me to chemo today!
It's nice to have my manager/agent by my side for the last one! 

The newest side effects to add to the list are the constant fatigue and watery eyes.  I just got my white blood cell count back and it's the lowest it's been through the entire treatment, so that explain the daily need for a nap.  The watery eyes are pretty annoying, but I know things could be worse, so I'll suck it up and take it.

I just met with my oncologist and she said that we'll know more about the future of my treatment after the pathology report comes back from surgery.  It takes about 2 weeks, from what I understand.  They already know I'll receive herceptin infusions every 3 weeks until June 2019.  They may also give me perjeta with the herceptin, if the pathology shows that it was effective.  The perjeta is the belly beast that causes all the diarrhea and heartburn, so I really don't want to have that.  Although if it helps to make sure this cancer never returns, then sign me up!  They are pretty confident I'll take tamoxifen for the next 10 years and may also require ovary suppression with that.  Again, the pathology will determine if I need the ovary suppression.  The last item that's up-in-the-air is radiation.  The pathology results will let us know if it is required.  Since I'm taking this journey one day at a time, I'm not going to worry about any of that for now.  I'll cross those bridges if/when I need to.

I also asked her how long the chemo side effects will stick around.  She said that everyone is different on the side effects, but 1-2 months is the norm.  I figure by the time I'm recovered from surgery, I should also be recovered from chemo!  Just in time for the holiday season, barring any setbacks.

To celebrate the end of my chemo journey I thought I'd share a few things I've learned that you might find interesting.

1. I didn't lose all of my hair.  In fact, I don't think I lost any of my gray hair.  Seriously?  Isn't that just ridiculous?  My sister has to shave my head every week because the gray just keeps growing.  I've lost almost all of my brown hair though.  I'm considering stopping the shaving my head, but I think I'm going to wait a few more weeks.  I'm hoping my brown hair returns soon.  
2. I didn't lose all of my leg hair either.  What?  I thought a perk of chemo was not having to shave my legs.  That's a myth.  To be fair, the growth has slowed dramatically, so I only have to shave every 2 weeks or so.  But still, somehow I feel cheated.  
3. Protein is key with chemo.  When I was first diagnosed, I met with a nutritionist and she said I needed 86 grams of protein per day.  I try so hard to get all that in, but I've had to rely on protein shakes and protein bars.  I have to choke down the shakes every time, but for 30 grams of protein, it's worth it.  Why do they have to taste terrible to me?  I'm happy to report, however, that my lightheadedness faded after I added a daily protein shake/bar!  And after I asked for all the prayers about it, too!  My oncologist said I can stop the high protein diet after I recovery from surgery.  Won't that be nice!
4. While having cancer sucks, the amount of love that comes into your life because of it, is simply amazing!  I'm so grateful for all the kindness you all have shown me.  God is good!  I'm grateful to Him for all of you!

Even though this last round of chemo made me more tired than before, our family found time to have fun together and celebrate Hattie's birthday!  That sweet girl has had a rough time with all this chemo-stuff, so she deserved a celebration... something to look forward to.  A swimming party with a bunch of family and friends was a perfect treat for her.  We all had a blast, but Hattie enjoyed it most!  Seeing her smile and play is my favorite!  I should also thank you all for praying specifically for Hattie.  She is handling this chemo much better than the last 2.  When I dropped her off with Rachel, Rylee, and Emma this morning, there were no tears!  And she even seemed excited to leave this morning!  Praise the Lord!

 Updated Prayer Requests:

1. Please pray that my recovery is speedy from this final chemo so that I'm ready to tackle surgery.
2. Please continue to pray for favorable pathology reports... whatever God decides that means is okay with me!
3. Please continue to pray for my family during this recovery phase.
4. Please add to your prayer list 2 friends, Janis and Gavin.  Both are fighting cancer.  I don't know them well, but I know they would benefit from your prayers.  

Chemo #5

Today is round 5!  I'm glad to be getting closer to the end of this chemo journey.  To be completely honest, I cannot wait until it's behind me.  With each treatment, a new side effect pops up to make the recovery just a little bit harder.  I've always judged how close I am to an anticipated date by the due date on the milk I buy.  This weekend, I got milk that expires on September 18... that's only 6 days before my last chemo!  Yay!  It's getting closer and for that, I am grateful.

My most recent new and annoying side effect has been some lightheadedness.  I've become anemic and it causes me to get moments of feeling lightheaded.  It's the weirdest thing because it happens a lot (several times an hour) when I'm up and moving.  When I sit, it will usually slow down quite a bit.  They're running my iron and B12 levels to see if I can take a supplement to help.  If neither of those are low, then I just have chemo induced anemia and there's not much they can do to help.  I just need to keep eating as much protein as I can.  Pray that the lightheadedness fades, please.  It's super bothersome and makes me nervous to drive.  It could be a long 6 weeks to the finish line if this one doesn't get better.

Lately the hot flashes have also intensified.  I'm in a drug induced menopause right now, so having no cycle is lovely!  But the hot flashes come at nighttime and they are no fun.  For all of you ladies who have gone through menopause already, I'm sorry I didn't have enough sympathy for you.  I get it now.  All night I go from covers to no covers.  Comfortable to sweating, then freezing.  I can't even count how many times I wake up at night because of it.  From what I understand about the future of my treatment, it may include ovary suppression, so I think the hot flashes could be here to stay for a while.  I'm hoping things normal out on that front before too long.

During this last recovery phase, I caught a cold.  I was pretty worried that the recovery was going to be brutal, but I was wrong.  My sister, also known as Dr. Hurt (haha!), got me all set up with over-the-counter meds to dry up all my drainage.  Sure enough, within just a few short days, I was feeling better!  Because of the cold though, I decided to stay off work until my chemo is done.  It's just not possible to keep hands germ-free when I'm working.  We all touch the same supplies constantly and my immune system is just too compromised.  Everyone has been so understanding.  I'm so grateful for the people at work who have been so supportive of me.  I'm also in debt to Mrs. Greene because she's subbing for me through it all.  She's amazing!

I'd also like to ask for some prayers for my sweet Hattie.  This chemo journey has become pretty difficult for her.  She really doesn't like to see her Momma down.  She's become quite clingy and sad dealing with all of this while the big kids are in school.  I have so many great friends and family who have helped me with her so that she's not at home, watching me recover (thank you to all of you!) but even still, she just isn't herself.  And that's hard for me and for her.  So if you would, please pray that God would give her His peace with all of this.  I'd love for her to leave the sadness behind as we finish up this crappy phase of her childhood. There is plenty to look forward to in the next few weeks.  She turns 3 and is having a princess birthday party at an indoor pool.  We're all looking forward to some family fun with our people!

This was hesitant Hattie this morning on the way out the door.
Sweet girl loves her Momma!

I'm going to cut this blog short because I'm a little sleepy today.  The steroids I take the day before chemo make it difficult for me to fall asleep at night.  The doctor said some people feel like getting up to wash the windows in the middle of the night.  Unfortunately for my windows, I don't have that much energy!  I just can't fall asleep.  So I might take a snooze during treatment today!

I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who has reached out to encourage me about the decision to have a bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction.  I sincerely appreciate the support and prayers of all of you.  While I can't say that I'm excited for surgery and figuring out what life will be like afterward, I am looking forward to getting this cancer out of my body and getting back to life without as many interruptions.

Updated Prayer Requests

1. Please continue to pray that I don't get sick (I did get a small cold virus this week, and I am thankful that my body recovered pretty well)
2. Please continue to pray that I won't require radiation after surgery
3. Pray for God's peace to overwhelm Hattie's heart
4. Pray that my lightheadedness subsides (quickly, if possible)
5. Pray that the faith of those affected by my journey would be strengthened