Chemo Day One

Well, I'm sitting here getting my first chemo.  My brain is a little foggy from the steroid, so I apologize if this post sounds funny!  I've never been drunk, but I feel like this is what it might feel like?!  That being said, I think today is the easy day.  From what I understand, the next week could be kind of icky.  But I'm ready.  In order to get to the end of the road, you've got to start the journey.  So here I am!  I've read the book of James several times over the past few weeks.  This verse I have chosen to focus on for today and the next few days.

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

We've had a busy couple of days leading up to the first chemo.  I got my port placed on Monday.  It was my first experience with "conscious sedation" meaning they let you stay awake during the procedure.  At first I was like, "Say what?!  I don't want to be awake for that!"  But it turned out to be totally fine. The incisions are kind of annoying right now, but shouldn't be a problem after a week or so.

I met with the Radiation Oncologist yesterday.  It wasn't my favorite appointment ever.  The doctor kind of confused me a little and muddied the waters by telling me that some people don't think chemo before surgery is a good idea because it makes it more difficult to determine if radiation is necessary.  He repeated that I was on the right path, but I'm not sure why he felt the need to mention the other path?  I was kind of like, "Well, I start chemo tomorrow, so I think my surgeon must think it's the best idea?!"  We won't know if I'll need radiation until after surgery and according to this doctor, the pathology may not be conclusive.  It's likely that there won't be a definitive answer about the radiation.  We'll just have to pray and see!

Also yesterday, the girls and I got haircuts.  Gracie and I are twinning with stacked bobs.  She LOVES hers and I like mine, too!  This is the first time Ryan and the girls have ever seen me with short hair.  Hattie is my little Rapunzel.  She's got the longest hair in the house now and she looks adorable with her braids and ponies and such!  It's likely that I'll be shaving my head in 2 weeks or so, so this is a good transition for me.  When the time comes to shave it, we're going to have a little party and my friend Tara who always cuts our hair is going to come over and let the kids help cut it... but only with Tara's special haircutting scissors.  I don't need Hattie getting any ideas!  Gracie and Kianna want me to try a mohawk before I shave it all off... so I'll be sure to get pictures! I think I'm dreading the awkward grow-out phase more than actually shaving the hair off!

The spoiling has continued with this chemo treatment.  My sweet and creative friend Rachel put together a tub for me and a tub for the girls to keep us busy when Momma is down.  I've been using some of my stuff today and I know I'll enjoy it in the days ahead.  The girls got an activity tub with a book of projects/crafts and Rachel thought to put several supplies in with it!  She's such a smart cookie and I'm so grateful!  The girls have already marked a few they want to try.  I figure Steph and her kids can join the fun with us!  Again, I'm just so grateful for the generosity of my village.  Every one has been just so kind and encouraging.  The amount of prayers being said for me and for my family are more than I could have imagined.  God is good to have given me all of you!

Here are updated prayer requests.  

1. Pray that the cancer has/does not spread to my lymph nodes, blood, or other body parts (we won't know the answer the this question until after surgery)
2. Pray that it is clear to the team of doctors that I do not need radiation
3. Pray that my faith and the faith of my family is strengthened during this time
4. Pray for happiness and normalcy during treatment
5. Pray that Ryan's stress level decreases as the days go by
6. Pray that I do not experience side effects of the chemo (it's worth a shot, right?!)
7. Pray that I do not have an adverse reaction to the chemo and Neulasta shot (given the day after chemo)
8. Pray that the chemo does not cause any longterm damage to me
9. Pray for stamina in the days ahead