If you read my previous post (Hattie is 3 Months) you'll know that my thyroid went haywire not too long ago. Here's the long version, for those who are interested.
I've been on levothyroxine for an underactive thyroid (hyperthyroidism = hashimotos) since the month I conceived Gracie, back in 2010. I was on a pretty low dose and everything seemed to be going perfectly fine for several years. My Endocrinologist, Dr. Andrews, assumed that my thyroid would begin to go haywire after Gracie was born, but it never did. I stayed on the low dose of medication until I lost the second baby in 2013. Six weeks after delivering that baby, Dr. Andrews checked my levels and decided to take me off the medication. He said losing the baby was not related to the thyroid, but after the pregnancy, things changed. I was off the medication for a year, but as soon as we found out we were pregnant with Hattie, my Reproductive Endocrinologist put me back on my medication because I was borderline hypothyroid again. I stayed on the same dosage throughout my pregnancy, and like all the times in the past, Dr. Andrews watched me like a hawk during pregnancy and nothing changed. He warned me after Hattie was born that my thyroid would likely start acting up, but because it didn't with Gracie, I assumed I was in the clear. Well, we all know what happens when you assume things...
I visited Dr. Andrews and had blood taken around the time of Thanksgiving. About a week later, I got a call from Dr. Andrews' nurse telling me to stop my medication immediately because I was dangerously hyperthyroid... the other side of the spectrum. I asked what my levels were, knowing the healthy range is 1.5-2.5 (ish) for a woman in my situation (breastfeeding). She said my TSH was .006, extremely low. She explained that he wanted more blood from me in 2 weeks and would likely start me on medicine for Graves Disease, which is hyperthyroidism. I mentioned that I was exclusively breastfeeding and wondered what this might do to my milk supply. She said she'd ask Dr. Andrews and get back to me. After I hung up the phone, I looked up symptoms of Graves and sure enough, I had a lot of them. My joints ached like I was 183 years old. Seriously, I thought I had Lupus or something. I had the worse hot flashes.... like Ryan had 3 covers over him and I was stripping down, sweating... this happened all the time. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears sometimes and I'd recently begun shaking when I did fine motor tasks. It was all weird, but to be honest, everything post-pregnancy is weird, so I didn't think anything of it.
After 5 days had passed, some of my symptoms were fading a bit, but so was my milk supply. I remember going in to nurse Hattie at bedtime and I was empty. Like, she was hungry and I normally had about 4 ounces or so to feed her and my girls were empty. I panicked. I was completely freaking out. She nursed long enough to be content, but that night she awoke several times to eat. Since she'd normally been making it till 4 or 5 am to eat, I knew she wasn't getting enough. I began frantically pumping all the time, after every feeding, for as long as I could handle. I'd get like half an ounce or so. I combined what I pumped with frozen milk until I finally sent Ryan to the store to buy formula. I just cried and cried at the thought of putting my sweet baby on formula, but the other option was to starve her. It was heartbreaking to me as her mother. I was just so, so sad.
Several days passed and I had several calls with Dr. Andrews and the sweet lactation nurses at our pediatrician's office. All of them said to keep pumping and try to ride it out, don't give up on nursing. Dr. Andrews took my blood after being off the medicine for only a week and he decided then to put me on a low dose of propylthiouracil to treat the Graves. The down side of this medicine is that it is transferred through breastmilk, so Hattie had to have her blood taken and will continue to have it taken periodically until I'm off the medicine. It is very unlikely that it will affect her thyroid or liver function, but those are the tests they run. A few days after starting the medication, my supply stopped dropping and began to increase, just a little. I began to nurse Hattie for as long as she'd stay latched on. She's super interested in what's going on around her, so nursing was sometimes challenging anyway, aside from he fact that my supple was much lower so she had to work harder than before. After nursing, I'd supplement with formula mixed with breastmilk. Then after she finished her bottle, I'd pump for 10-15 minutes to tell my body to make more.
Fast forward 3 weeks and I'm in a much better place mentally and emotionally. Because the nurse + bottle + pump routine was exhausting, I decided to go give bottles of formula mixed with breastmilk for most feedings and then pump on a 3 hour schedule. I nurse her sometimes (1-3 times per day) and that time is sweet for the both of us. However, I have learned that my relationship with Hattie is about way more than just meeting her physical need of hunger. I've learned to be thankful for formula and double-electric pumps so that my baby can have the best of both worlds. And I've learned that having a flexible baby that will take bottle or breast, formula or breastmilk, is a gift. She's simply wonderful. The transition for me was difficult, but for Hattie, it's been no big thing. She's just as unfocused when taking bottles as she is when nursing, so that's still annoying. But truthfully, when I first introduced formula to her, she tasted it and pushed the bottle away. Then she latched back on and finish the whole thing.
I've switched from Enfamil to an amazing formula called Baby's Only. Regular formula stinks terribly and seeps out the baby's pores, so they stink, too. Their spit-up is foul, also. On this new formula, Hattie doesn't spit-up hardly at all (she never did on breastmilk) and the powder smells like vanilla! It's cheaper than Enfamil and it's organic. So yay for stumbling on Baby's Only! I'm able to pump the majority of what she eats, but I still only give her 5 ounce bottles (3 oz breastmilk + 2 oz formula) and freeze the rest. I've got a stockpile of about 175 frozen ounces in case my thyroid quits allowing me to produce milk altogether. I add about 7 ounces each day to that stockpile, so it's growing pretty quickly.
My hope, as the rest of this year plays out, is that I can get back to more nursing, but still enjoy the benefits of having a bottle fed baby. My mom has been able to put her to bed a few times for me over the holidays when she's been over. Going on dates with Ryan will be much more likely now that I'm confident she will eat just fine when I'm gone. Even Gracie and I have had more Momma & Gracie time because Daddy can meet all of Hattie's needs now. I'm just so thankful to be on the other side of that experience so that I know that everything is just fine.
