How did you and Dad meet?

The short answer: We were set up by people from work.

The long answer:

It was a Thursday night in May of 2005 and I was at the Retirement Dinner for all the teachers retiring from Chouteau that school year.  I spent the night visiting with several people, but sat at a table with Tara Mast, our school librarian, and her husband Derek.  We had fun just chit-chatting.

The next morning, Tara walked into my room and asked if I would consider going on a date with another guy.  You see, she had set me up with one acquaintance already that year, and so had several other teachers.  I'd had at least 4 blind dates that year... none of which caught my interest enough to go much further.  She told me how her husband Derek wanted to find me a match and sat up in the middle of the night and said, "I know who we should set up with Kristy!  Ryan Weaver from work!"  Tara wasn't sure if I'd be interested, but she'd written down some descriptors on a Post-It Note.  Ryan was "Blond, a soccer player, a family guy, 5' 11'', a Christian, a hard-worker (who reported to Derek at the time), and had a good sense of humor."  Well, going out for a free dinner never bothered me, so I said I'd be happy to meet him.

We originally planned to meet on a double date with Tara and Derek, but it seemed that we couldn't find a free time.  By the end of May, Ryan said the earliest he could go out was July 15.  What the heck?!  Six weeks from now is the soonest you have time?  Now that I know your father, I know that he just didn't want to go out with me... his social calendar is never that full!  I remember telling my dad about 'this guy' and he agreed with me that this cheeseball must not be worth my time if he couldn't even get together until July.

Well, as it turned out, waiting so long to meet was just how it was supposed to be.  During the month of June, my dad passed away unexpectedly.  It was a rough time for my mom, my sister, and I so any relationship probably wouldn't have worked through all of that.

So the days flew by and before I knew it, July 15th had arrived.  I was looking forward to finally meeting this cheeseball, to see if we might hit it off, but mostly to enjoy another free dinner!  But around 10:30 on the morning of our first date, your dad called to cancel for that night.  He said his Aunt Denise had suffered from a heart attack and he had to drive his grandmother to Indiana.  I felt so bad for him and his family, after going through everything with my dad, I knew how challenging times like this can become.  I ended the call by telling him I'd pray for his Aunt Denise.  And I did, all weekend, I prayed for Aunt Denise from Indiana and for Ryan's entire family.

So it's mid-July and I still haven't met this kid yet.  On Monday morning, July 18, he called to reschedule our date.  He was leaving for a 2 week trip to the lake that weekend, so we decided to meet up that night for mini-golf and dinner.  We met at Timber Ridge Mini Golf near Claycomo.  He told me he'd be driving a blue Ford F150, so I knew what to look for.  He arrived first, so when I pulled in driving my green Toyota Rav4, I saw him right away... and I noticed right off that he wasn't 5' 11'' (wishful thinking, Ryan!)  We played a round of mini-golf and as weird as it sounds, we had an instant connection.  I really don't remember much about the golf, I just remember that he was wearing khaki shorts, a green shirt, and brown sandals.  I remember laughing a lot and being really surprised at how comfortable I was with him.  I also remember leaving Timber Ridge and heading to 54th Street Bar and Grill off Englewood Road.  For some reason when we were getting into our cars to follow each other, the topic of speeding came up.  Ryan said that he never drove above the speed limit (which is true, even now).  I said that I didn't speed either (which at that time was a lie... but it's true now!)

We ate dinner at 54th Street and had easy conversation the entire time.  Even after the waitress had cleared the table, we just sat and talked.  I remember one point in the evening when we were talking, I actually put my feet up on the booth seat next to him.  I recall thinking to myself, What are you doing?! Sit up!  You're on a date!  He didn't seem to mind and we ended up closing the place down.  When we got to the parking lot, we started to say goodbye, but ended up sitting on his tailgate talking for another few hours.  Neither one of us knew what time it was, but by the time we got into our cars to drive home, it was after 1:30 am.

On the drive home, I glanced at my cell phone and there were something like 14 missed calls from my sister!  She was convinced that I'd gone on a date with a serial killer and she would never hear from me again.  So I called her to tell her about the date and this guy and how easy our conversations were.  She was happy to hear that he wasn't a killer!  I think I caught her off guard when I told her I was pretty sure he was the man I would marry.  And clearly, I was right!

When girlfriends of mine have asked me "How did you know he was the one?" or "How do I know if he's the one?" my answer is always, "I just knew."  And it's true, I just knew he was the one for me.  I was 24 years old and I been on several first dates, casually dated a few boys, but never been in a serious relationship.  I was always very sure of what I wanted.  I had written a list of qualities I wanted in a mate... Ryan met most of them.  I had an idea in my mind of what was attracted to, and your dad met all of them.  There were a few things about him that I never saw myself ending up with.  A drama & choir boy... that was never my type.  I thought I'd end up with a baseball boy instead of a soccer boy.  But none of those things matter when you really get down to the person.  What mattered most was that he was the only boy who I was totally comfortable with.  I was myself with him from the very first date.  He challenged me in ways that no one else had and brought out sides of me that no one else had.  Unlike previous boys, when Ryan called, I wanted to talk to him.  We would spend hours and hours on the phone and he was always interested in what I had to say.  We shared similar interests and dreams, which made bringing our lives together exciting and fulfilling.  My relationship with your father was easy.  Don't get me wrong, we've had our challenges and things to work through, but for the most part, our relationship was/is easy and fun.  When they ask, I always tell girlfriends in challenging relationships that if it's hard at the beginning, hard before the wedding, then he's probably not the one.  If a relationship isn't fun at the beginning, there's no hope that it'll be fun later.

The feeling was mutual between your father and I... the feeling that we were meant to be together.  We went out again that week on Thursday night.  He came to my softball game and talked with my mom while Aunt Steph and I played ball. After I cleaned up, he and I went Zona Rosa for ice cream.  We found a bench and spent the rest of the night talking and dreaming.  It was on our second date that your father said, "So when we get married, what song do you want to dance to for our first dance?"  I wittingly replied, "If I marry you, I already know what song we will dance to."  He said, "I have a song picked out, too."  The song I had always wanted to dance to was from the movie How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days.  I wasn't sure of the title, but it was the song during which Ben and Andie fell in love.  Ryan's song choice was from Dawson's Creek, called Feels Like Home.  As it turns out, they're the same song!  And yes, we chose it for our first dance song when we were married 2 years later.

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I must insert a side note here --- About a year after we first met, I was on a car trip to Council Bluffs, IA with your Aunt Brandi and Uncle Chad (we were meeting your dad up there).  I found out that the story of Aunt Denise from Indiana having a heart attack was all made up.  Yep!  He had crafted that whole story... I found out later that he canceled our date that night so that he could drive up to Iowa to see his cousin's ball game.  Aunt Denise never had a heard attack, never lived Indiana (that was Aunt Betty!), and I prayed for this made up aunt all weekend long.  By the way,  Aunt Betty didn't have a heart attack either.  Jerk!  Yeah, I'm sure you can imagine how that conversation went.  I'm pretty certain I can still pull that card out of my back pocket to win any future argument.  It's probably a good thing I didn't find out about this little lie until we were already engaged.  Otherwise, I'm not sure your father would've been your father... if you know what I mean!